About
About Relatable Red
Welcome to the Hyperfixation Station
Relatable Red emerged after I received an ADHD diagnosis which prompted a deluge of research and a strong need to find community.
Before receiving my diagnosis, I experienced a lot of validation from seeing other people speaking about their experiences online and using terminology that I had never heard before. Things like: neurodivergence, sensory issues, rejection sensitivity, shame spirals, executive dysfunction, time-blindness...just to name a few. While I watched people share their stories and quirks the recurring word that kept coming to mind was: relatable.
Why were all these things so relatable to me? It began to dawn on me that not everyone feels paralyzed or like they're buffering until they have to attend an afternoon appointment, not everyone struggles with unmanageable piles of stuff or talks "too much" or too loudly. Not everyone squirms or sits weird, or has cycles of hyperfixating on specific foods followed by aversions to those exact same foods. You mean to tell me there are actual people out there who don't need the push of impending dread to get anything accomplished?
Is staying focused or switching from task to task not universally difficult...?!
Turns out that although everyone experiences these things from time to time, most people aren't debilitated by a barrage of daily symptoms.
For some of us, these things persistently and negatively impact our lives.
This website came into existence as a side project when I felt the need to explore being neurodivergent. It is meant to be an inclusive pitstop for differently-abled, quirky, hyper humans.
Ultimately this is a place for exploration, growth, fun, and difficult topics.
Being a neurodivergent person in a society filled with ableism can feel like you are existing on a continuum that is incompatible with the rest of the world. Our difficulties are often not taken into consideration and we are told to "fall in line, be quiet, stop moving, work faster" etcetera. In addition, if you don't understand what your needs are and have no idea how to ask for accommodations (or that there even are accommodations for that matter) you can go through your entire life intensely overwhelmed and filled with guilt and shame.
The burnout is real.
There can be many signs which point to neurodivergence (it's a spectrum) but many people (especially women and people of colour) are often misdiagnosed for years or diagnosed much later in life - if at all. If we don't have the language and awareness to talk about these things or if we come from a family or community that isn't knowledgeable on the matter, we simply make do. Things never fully make sense to us or line up, but we learn to exist by trying our best. We struggle, but we make it work by using coping strategies, some of which can be pretty unhealthy. It's also important to be critical of the historical implications of the field of psychology and psychiatry, and be mindful of their impacts (some of which can be extremely harmful). Along with the current political climate, neoliberalism, and capitalism - all of which affect our access to care.
Common features of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) / ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) / being ND (Neurodivergent) [this list is not exhaustive]:
- anxiety
- always rushing / being frazzled
- being disorganized at home / school / work
- clumsiness / being accident prone
- distractibility
- emotional disregulation
- fatigue and insomnia
- feeling behind in life
- feeling different
- feeling misunderstood
- feeling out of place
- forgetfulness
- hyperactivity
- impulsivity
- inability to plan ahead
- lack of organizational skills
- lack of direction in life
- masking to come across more "normal"
- needing external motivation to get things done
- overstimulation
- poor working memory
- restlessness
- self-medicating with substances (caffeine, food, nicotine, other drugs)
- sensory issues
- social awkwardness
- struggling with disordered eating (binge eating)
- unable to focus (unless reaaaally interested in the thing)
If you deal with these things or you're just coming to terms with your own diagnosis, please know that:
- you are not alone
- you are valid
- you matter
Becoming aware of our differences does not guarantee that we'll have it all figured out moving forward. There can be a lot of grief, anger, and sadness that comes with understanding that we've been moving through life missing some crucial information about ourselves. Not to mention, ADHD can also be concurrent with other conditions (asd, learning disabilities, anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, sensory processing disorder, oppositional defiant disorder...)
That's heavy stuff!
Finding out can also be a relief. Knowing means you have a much better understanding (in retrospect) of why you've been struggling. You gain clarity into how you function and what your needs are.
Allow me to share a quote that's helped me:
“The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. [...]
To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence.
To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.”
― Reasons to Stay Alive
So be messy, be human, be bad for business!
Let's set down the judgment that was never ours to carry, deconstruct trauma, and release shame. I'm hoping this space will act as an outlet to reclaim the imaginative, non-linear, risk-taking, spontaneous tendencies we may have lost along the way.
You'll find insights, resources, thoughtpieces, and likely way too many memes.
Welcome to the community!
- Relatable Red
If you're also a weirdo who enjoys being creative, going on adventures, lots of novelty, snacks, and snark...then let's be friends.
Source: credited to onlyyoumissmew
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**DISCLAIMER**
Please note that no content on this website should be considered medical, psychological, or psychiatric advice. I am not a licensed mental health provider and make no such claims. Opinions are my own unless otherwise stated.
I endeavor to cite all sources and provide citations for work and ideas which are not my own (this is in line with principles of academic integrity). If you or someone you know are in crisis or need immediate medical attention, please call your local emergency services or a trusted healthcare provider.